The soundtrack to college football is a million middle-aged parents discovering rap for the first time

School soccer is not speculated to be this cynical.

Or no less than, this isn’t what faculty soccer is meant to be. brazenly cynical, which is just about the identical factor, however when a university sport decides that a head coach is value greater than twelve million {dollars} a 12 months, there is a high quality line to stroll right here and “Y’all Life” jumps over it thrice.

Let me again up: Final Friday (and I am upset about this largely as a result of I needed to wait a full seven days to speak about this crap) the SEC’s official Twitter account alerted the faculty soccer world to a really horrible tune. by the progenitor of “Fancy Like” Walker Hayes. This feeble try at dad-rap and the video is horrible for therefore many causes I am going to get to shortly, however in brief, “Y’all Life” has collapsed among the worst facets of school soccer into one dense neutron star of The trash.

Let’s speak about “Y’all Life”

Product placement

Walker Hayes isn’t any stranger to product placement. “Fancy Like”, for instance, mentions a minimum of twelve merchandise or manufacturers, together with Oreo, Applebee’s, Wendy’s, Alabama soccer, Skoal, Victoria’s Secret and Tesla (amongst others). “Y’all Life” solely rings the bell for about 4 totally different manufacturers, which is a little bit of a disappointment, frankly. However don’t be concerned: the music video, which I will not ship you a hyperlink to, greater than makes up for it.

clean as a whistle

Wait, sorry Walker, what was on that signal behind your new Ford Broncoβ„’?

smelling like a rose

Oh candy, thanks.

This sort of weirdly overt promoting, fully indifferent from actually the rest occurring round you, is beginning to change into the norm and fully baffles me. It is like watching a World Battle II film during which a gray-haired, cigar-chewing sergeant holds the hand of a personal who’s simply had his leg blown off, and simply as Jimmy is about at hand Sarge a stained letter of blood for his expensive mother, the digital camera focuses on a can of Monster for 5 seconds.

Hayes has apparently made a profession of begging manufacturers to name him, however given the present state of widespread nation music, that is in all probability the least of his sins.

hook and magnificence

“Y’all Life” is a phrase conjured up by the lich lords within the dank subterranean dungeons of any report label that employs Walker Hayes for the specific function of being devoured up by about eight cans of sunshine beer in an uncomfortably scorching parking zone afterward. to double park. a spot for the disabled. He’s meant to be plastered on stickers and T-shirts and repeated advert nauseam till the following dumb phrase to get drunk is born from the identical fetid vat.

LOL

“Father, forgive me, as a result of I’ve yelled at you”

Additionally: this can be a rap tune. I do know Walker Hayes is ostensibly a rustic artist, however “Y’all Life” is simply country-tinged rap. Which is ok in principle, and I believe it is humorous that Nelly will get a writing credit score right here (Hayes samples “Nation Grammar” and likewise raps “Down in ‘Bama the place they grammar received some nation in it, y’all,” which it is even funnier as a result of Nelly is from St. Louis, by means of Texas), however one way or the other I doubt “Y’all Life” is marketed as such.

Did you consider this for 5 seconds?

That is the place issues get awkward. The lyrics “All you mamas inform ’em ladies, ‘You higher hold your legs crossed'” aren’t excellent, however for the needs of this part I am extra within the music video, which was shot in lowercase Chapel Hill, Tennessee , with a inhabitants of simply over 1,700 folks, lots of whom served as extras.

You could be questioning why that is vital and general the music video for “Y’all Life” is fairly repetitive nation shit. Soccer sport, cheerleading, church, driving an unused truck round a mud observe in a circle, and that is just about it.

However the highschool soccer workforce cheered on by the just about all-white crowd, the day earlier than everybody attends virtually all-white church? That is actual life Forrest Excessive College, proudly named for the Chapel Hill native Nathan Bedford Forrest, Accomplice common and first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. So I do not know, if you are going to shoot a music video in the course of nowhere for some cause, possibly do a fast Wikipedia search earlier than you begin. After which in case you uncover that the satisfaction of the folks is a racist traitor who let his troops bloodbath black folks through the Civil Battle, discover one other place to movie.


In fact, “Y’all Life” and the preliminary SEC endorsement is absolutely solely half of a lengthy, proud custom horrible music executed capitalize colleague soccer Y his followers The distinction between “pleasantly endearing” Y “completely infuriating” is that when a random fan decides to pay tribute to their favourite workforce, it’d suck out loud, however that tune is no less than an sincere expression of affection for one thing they take pleasure in.

However, when a personal college with a multi-billion greenback endowment or an endorsement-seeking artist like Walker Hayes high-fives the SEC and tries to befriend the faculty soccer fan, it seems like an invasive try and cynical. to squeeze much more cash out of people that already spend a major period of time, cash, and power attempting to take pleasure in a rattling sport.

The excellent news is that the SEC’s tweet endorsing “Y’all Life” was criticized by critics on-line. and so they rapidly deleted it within the face of an avalanche of memes and unhealthy jokes. And that is the way it must be: The folks in control of faculty sports activities (and the parasites who need to money in on them) might have infinite methods to get into your pockets, however the followers can all the time tune out and shut down. . As the cash concerned in faculty sports activities continues to develop, it is a energy we’ll must train extra usually.

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