A man took Reddit forum “Am I The A**hole” when she had a disagreement with her boyfriend’s father over the use of her professional title.
Redditor u/eee3564523 wrote in his position that she was asked to use the medical title when speaking to her boyfriend’s father, per her request. However, after she u/eee3564523 completed her Ph.D., her boyfriend’s father told her that she shouldn’t expect her to use the professional title on him.
“AITA for insisting on being called a doctor by my boyfriend’s father?” was the question posed by the Redditor, whose post has racked up more than 7,500 interactions since it was published on Monday.
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Use of the title
According to the Emily Post Institute Inc., an organization that offers advice on etiquette, doctors, dentists, and other professionals are approached and introduced with their titles, both in a social and professional setting.
“People who have earned a Ph.D. or any other non-medical doctoral academic degree have the option of using ‘Dr.’ both professionally and socially,” the organization said. “If, meeting people with PhDs, you’re not sure how to address them, ‘Dr.’ It’s always right.”
‘AITA?’
In her post, u/eee3564523 said that after meeting her boyfriend’s father, a doctor of psychology for the first time, they asked her to call him “Dr. XYZ.”
After more than two years, u/eee3564523 said that she has continued to use the professional title when talking to him.
Redditor u/eee3564523 recently finished his Ph.D. and said that even though he doesn’t put much into professional titles, he said it was a “huge accomplishment”.
“When I met with my boyfriend’s family I told everyone that I had finished my degree and they all congratulated me, including my boyfriend’s dad who told me ‘Congratulations, OP, but don’t expect me to start calling you a doctor.'” /eee3564523 said.
He said he didn’t expect to hear that from him and asked why he wouldn’t use the title after giving him the same “professional courtesy”.
“To which he said ‘that’s not the same,'” said u/eee3564523.
He went on to say that he was confused and told his boyfriend’s father that he didn’t understand how he was different and used his professional title when speaking to him as a matter of courtesy.
The Redditor said that she told her boyfriend’s father that she would not call him by the title unless he called him by the title.
“The discussion went around in circles from there until I finally said ‘Whatever. I’m just not going to respond anymore if you call me by my name,'” u/eee3564523 said. “And I did accordingly for the rest of the night.”
That in turn caused an argument between him and his boyfriend.
“I feel like I could have dropped it, like I said, I don’t mind being called a doctor, but at the same time I feel like your father’s behavior was complete nonsense,” u/eee3564523 said, concluding his email.
Reddit users react
Overwhelmingly, Reddit users sided with u/eee3564523.
“Defend your position OP,” read one top comment with over 10,000 upvotes. “You are as much a doctor as he is.”
Another comment said that the father of u/eee3564523’s boyfriend may have an inferiority complex.
“Your father may have an academic education, but his rudeness and lack of manners don’t make him better than a rock (no offense to rocks),” the comment read.
One Redditor said the issue went beyond professional respect.
“It was a power play on his part,” they wrote. “He was trying to establish dominance.”
“If he gets professional courtesy in a casual setting, so do you,” said one Reddit user. “Stick to it. I’m surprised your mate doesn’t see it.”
news week He reached out to u/eee3564523 for comment.
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