A generous uncle drew the support of thousands after revealing how, and why, he cunningly gave his 17-year-old nephew $1,000.
in a virus Reddit Post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Dangerous-Work6020 (aka the original poster or OP) lamented his nephew’s misfortune and detailed his attempt to turn the tide in the teen’s favor.
Entitled, “[Am I the a**hole] for giving my nephew $1,000?” mail It has received nearly 8,000 votes in favor and 500 comments in the last day.
“My… nephew got the worst of it,” OP began. “He is the eldest son of his family and his mother and his father (my brother) force him to be the caretaker of his younger siblings.”
Continuing to explain that his nephew “has nothing of his own and has to share everything,” the original poster said that when the 17-year-old tried to get a summer job, he was immediately shut down.
“His parents hassled him because they can’t afford camp for the younger kids,” OP wrote. “He was really upset about it.”
The original poster also said that it was at that moment that he knew he had to intervene.
“I’m just a single man and doing well financially,” OP wrote. “I asked him if he wanted to make me a cake and lasagna (he likes to cook) and I paid him.”
“He did a pretty good job and I paid him $1,000,” OP continued. “I was just looking for an excuse to give him money.”
“Later, her parents told me that I shouldn’t [17-year-old] $1,000 in cash and that was irresponsible,” added OP. “They asked me what I was going to buy and I said what I wanted.”
As America’s families endure record inflation rates and a rapidly rising cost of living, parents have been forced to cut many items and services from household budgets, including summer child care programs.
Last year, the American Camp Association reported that the average cost of a summer camp in the US was $76 per day for day programs and $172 per day for evening programs.
This year, those figures have skyrocketed, jumping to $178.49 and $448.53.
To combat rising costs for camps, some parents have they looked at their older children as viable replacements, leaving teenagers with younger children during their summer vacations.
But while depending on an older brother or sister for childcare it’s cost-effective, the lasting impacts can be amazing.
When children are “paternized” by their own parents, they often cling to similar responsibilities well into adulthood, according to psychology today.
“Children who were parented often need inner child work,” psychology today says contributor Whitney Goodman. “They usually have a hard time having fun and are easily drawn into the role of caretaker.
“Their value is often directly related to what they can provide to others,” adds Goodman. “Structure generally feels safer to them than play or improvisation.”
However, despite the long-term effects of children caring for other children, research published by the American Psychological Association shows that approximately 1.4 million children between the ages of 8 and 18 serve as caregivers for his brothers.
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In response to the viral Reddit post, Reddit users acknowledged the dangers of pushing children into parenting roles and called out the original poster’s brother and sister-in-law for taking advantage of their 17-year-old son.
“They don’t want him [be] able to be independent because they would lose their free babysitter when they turn 18,” Redditor u/NikkeiReigns wrote in the top comment of the post, which received over 16,500 upvotes.
“Talk to your parents about the fact that parenting is child abuse,” Redditor u/MariaInconnu added. “And keeping him from working could constitute financial abuse.”
Reddit user u/LouisV25, whose answer received more than 4,000 upvotes, also commented on the financial implications of the viral post.
“[Not the a**hole]they wrote. “It’s your money. You could take it to a bank and open an escrow account. it would be in your name [and] you would be the adult who controls it.
“That’s a good way to help you manage money and escape parenting,” they added.
In a separate comment, which received over 1,500 upvotes, Redditor u/SagaciousSagi echoed that sentiment, but with an additional caveat and advice to the original author.
“Make sure their parents don’t steal that money,” they wrote. “[Not the a**hole]but be careful giving so much in cash.
“If he wants something specific, give it to him instead,” they added.
news week reached out to u/Dangerous-Work6020 for comment.